i need something to numb whatever i feel now so i can pass this and move on. zzz mentally and physically trapped for one and half year. :( sometimes i really wish that i could have back my weekends. three and half years without weekends (95%), how does it feels like. more to come.

i am given a choice. but i am not choosing it because it only brings me guilt that i will need to face which is more toturing? so am i given a choice?

or. maybe i just need to learn to control my life better, to do things at the right time and forgo the things that i want to do which, mostly is useless things.

how to understand someone when there's no communication. and concluded that i dont understand you- how much you know.